Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Tip Tuesdays: Heels, the struggle is real + WWLD

Anna Dello Russo posted these Louboutins a couple of weeks ago. They are 13cm without a front platform... think about that a little. OUCH! 

Like every friendship, heels can simultaneously be your best and worst friend; they look great but they hurt you like hell. 

Today's Tip Tuesday - do not take off your heels. 

I understand, heels hurt. The steeper the arch, the better they look but the more they hurt.  I made this little schematic, for all you math nerds out there like me:

What this means: the limit of heel height as the heel approaches comfort  = Does not exist. Heel height is a noncontinuous function. There is no limit or basis. In other words - heels are uncomfortable. There is NO such thing as a comfortable heel. They are the worst and best things ever made.

I wear a size 5 or 6 and any type shoe I have has the same exact heel height as a size 7 or 8 would have. Say I have a 120mm heel (4.7"). Well if you think about it, since my foot is smaller my shoe has to go from 120mm to 0mm  in a lesser distance than a size 7 or 8 would have since that foot would be longer. So any type of shoe that would look normal on someone, always always always has an aching arch for all the shorties out there.

So that being said, I understand the struggle.  But I don't care if your feet are bleeding, your ankle broke or you broke a toe. Do not take off your heels. The only way it's okay to take off your heels, is if someone is chasing you. BUT even then, you should not be barefoot. 

Oh and no matter how great the pedicure was no one wants to see your feet. 

If you can get over the fact of all the germs you are exposing your feet to (and then dragging into your home and then all over your couch and bed), you have to think about what message you're giving out:
  • Guys will think you're drunk. They don't understand that heels hurt. They just don't get it no matter how much you complain. 
  • Guys will think you're a nag because you're complaining about your feet. 
  • Guys will think you're a child. Yeah you look like you just turned 16 and got heels that you can't walk. 
  • Guys will think you're a poor planner because you didn't come prepared. 

Do you want people to think you're a poor planner, a child, a nag or drunk? No? Then don't take off your heels or you'll look like this one, below. 
Go home Ms. Poppins, you're drunk.

While what she did at the Golden Globes was not very lady like she redeemed herself. Check out what she wore at the next awards show: 
Flats, for the win.
And if that wasn't enough- WWLD?

Would Lauren be walking barefoot in the streets? No
Would Lauren be walking barefoot at a wedding or special affair? Definitely not.
Would Lauren have a pair of back up shoes? Probably.

My advice:

  • If you can't take the pain of the heels, do not buy them. There are plenty of chic flats. 
  • If you know those specific shoes kill you after 2 hours but you're going to an affair that's going to be longer, do not wear them OR pack backup (heels or flats) that match your outfit, in the car. 
  • Just sit down but do not take off your shoes. No matter how great it feels to take them off and relax, your feet will swell up and you'll never be able to put them back on and strut your stuff like Beyonce. 

Now, you wear those killer heels like you were born in them!  And that's just what you're gonna do! Why? Because they're nothing you're not used too ... because you love a challenge! 
And because you are a goddamn lady! 

Have you seen the Wedding Planner with Jennifer Lopez? Recognize the quote? "I can treat that jackass like any other faceless groom! And that's just what I'm gonna do! Why? Because he's nothing... because I love a challenge! And because I am a goddamn professional!" Haha sorry, had to do it! 

More on the shoes made by the devil next week!


Disclaimer: I love Mary Poppins and Emma Thompson. 


  1. heheh thanks for the tips!!
    Loving your blog xx

  2. amazing heels perfect for spring <3
    check my blog! hope you like it!
    keep in touch on:

  3. you have a great blog. mind to check out my blog? maybe we can follow each other :)


  4. Like every friendship, heels can simultaneously be your best and worst friend; they look great but they hurt you like hell. = Well put!

  5. Or you can get yourself a pair of stilettos with a "build in" support for your arch.... ;)